Find moments under the Mistletoe
I was watching a show on telly the other night, and they were talking about mistletoe, where it came from and why we still hang it up at Christmas.
And it got me thinking… because it turns out the tradition involving mistletoe was never really about the kiss. It was about what the kiss represented.
This Christmas reflection for couples grew out of that moment, a quiet exploration of love, peace, and the choices we make in our marriages at Christmas.
So I went down a bit of a rabbit hole, looking at the tradition of mistletoe and where it all began.
A Quiet Christmas Reflection on Love That Isn’t Loud
Mistletoe isn’t flashy. You don’t decorate the whole house with it.
It hangs quietly in a doorway, often unnoticed until you’re standing right under it.
Marriage can be like that, too.
Some of the strongest moments aren’t loud or public; they’re quiet, ordinary, and seen by no one else. Moments shared, just the two of you.
A Christmas Reflection on Pausing for Peace
In its earliest traditions, mistletoe symbolised peace.
If people met under it, conflict stopped. Weapons were laid down.
In ancient cultures such as the Celts and the Norse, mistletoe was viewed as sacred, and traditions grew around it as a place of truce, a moment when conflict paused, and peace took priority.
It makes you wonder how often we rush past each other instead of pausing for a moment.
Sometimes the most loving thing we can do is slow down and notice the person in front of us.
Creating Intentional Moments in Marriage at Christmas
Watching a Christmas rom-com, you’ll often see the characters accidentally finding themselves under the mistletoe.
But when we go back to its roots as a place of truce and peace, mistletoe was grounded in choice.
You didn’t accidentally end up under the mistletoe.
You had to stand there.
Connection in marriage doesn’t just happen either.
It’s created on purpose in small, intentional moments.
A look.
A touch.
A choice to turn toward each other.
Belonging and Commitment in Marriage
Standing under mistletoe was a visible sign of connection.
Marriage is still that.
Not perfection. Not performance.
But commitment — choosing each other again, especially when life feels heavy or noisy.
A Christian Christmas Reflection on How God Works Quietly
God so often works in the stillness, not the spectacle.
And just as standing under the mistletoe requires noticing and choosing, recognising the goodness of God in our everyday moments often does too.
Be open to:
Doorway moments.
In pauses.
Or in ordinary acts of love repeated faithfully over time.
“Two are better than one…” — Ecclesiastes 4:9
The Invitation of Christmas
Maybe mistletoe isn’t really about Christmas at all.
Maybe it’s an invitation — every year — to stop, soften, and reconnect.
I’m sure when the Celts and Norse met beneath the mistletoe, they had no idea how those moments of truce and peace would ripple outward. And perhaps we don’t either.
But making that choice — taking that step — can bring deep rewards, especially in our relationships.
Not because everything is perfect…
But because love is worth choosing again.
So what is something you could offer as a truce, and perhaps even seal with a kiss this Christmas?
Rooted in Christ
In that same show, Sheila Walsh made a reflection that really stayed with me.
She said mistletoe doesn’t grow on its own.
It has no roots in the ground.
It needs another tree to survive. Without that tree, it has no life.
And she pointed it straight back to Jesus and our need for Him.
That without Jesus, we might keep going… but we’re not living in the fullness He offers.
“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” — John 15:5
That wasn’t my insight — it was hers.
This little Christmas symbol was never meant to stand alone, either.
It was always about peace, connection, and relationship.
Just like mistletoe needs the tree…
Like peace needs intention…
Just like marriage needs nurture…
We need Jesus.
Not as an add-on.
Not as a seasonal thought.
But as the source of life itself.
So this Christmas, may we stay connected —
to each other,
and firmly rooted in Christ.
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